Kidnapped

While we were saying goodbye last time we played, Lady Helena had suggested to play again before Christmas. I was a bit surprised to session that soon again, but She (and me too) had had so much fun torturing me, that Her wish was my command.

We scheduled for Thursday. I was left in the dark about what to expect, but Domina Shelle had mentioned that She might join us and that there would be a surprise.
Two hours before the session, i began to get nervous. Not knowing what was coming, i started to prepare my devices for my Owners to use on me. The spanking-machine, the stroking-machine, the shock-collar and of course the magnetic restraints on my bed and the spanking-bench.
I made sure everything was working correctly and started Skype to test the headset. I had a message from lady Helena, instructing me to set-up the stroking-machine and bed restraints and have a blindfold ready.
That sounded like a nice sensual session to be expected. Good, i was not in the mood for pain today.

A few minutes before the call, i undressed and knelt down. I closed my eyes and started to recite my mantra. This always calms me down and helps me to get into the right mindset.
Not much later, the three of us were talking and as small-talk was ending, i started to tie my legs to the bed.
"Let's spank him a bit first..."
I don't remember who had that idea, but i didn't like to hear that too much. On the other hand, being surprised by a spanking when i'm not in the mood had always been a hot fantasy of mine. I obeyed and positioned myself on the spanking-bench.
Lady Helena started to explain the controls of the spanking-machine to Domina Shelle. She told Her how She had bruised my ass last time and that i was feeling it for several days. I felt like an object, used to demonstrate the spanking-machine. And i was loving it!

"Just a few taps..."
Phew, Lady Helena was going easy on me. She asked Domina Shelle to tell Her when to deliver the stroke.
"Now!"
Ouch, that was not what i'd call a tap... my Owners were giggling about my groans.
"Awwwh, poor baby... do it again..."
They were having fun and even if i wasn't in the mood for pain that day, i was accepting what they dished out.
The spanking ended soon, but left some very nice welts and a few minutes later, i was bound spread-eagle to the bed and the stroking-machine was sucking my cock slowly.
Domina Shelle and Lady Helena took turns getting me into trance and soon i found myself in a casino, sitting in front of a slot-machine.
Domina set down next to me and from there on, memories get blurry. I have a vague memory about some pill in my drink, then i found myself in a limousine.
The slow sucking on my cock was getting frustrating as the story continued. We arrived and a bit later, i was tied to a bed and blindfolded. I was now their sex-slave.
"Make him cum..." i heard Domina say.
Lady Helena giggled, "now comes the best part!"
I knew She wasn't talking about my orgasm, but about my begging when i cum and get too sensitive. It was no difference this time, i think She left it on fast even longer than last time.
Finally, the speed decreased, but Lady Helena kept it running while we chatted like we always do after playing. A few times, She suddenly increased the speed to hear some begging from me and each time, my Owners were laughing.

Then it was time to say goodbye. Lady Helena asked if my restraints had already set me free. I was surprised, She should know that i was still tied up...
"Hmmm... the timer stopped... it doesn't work..."
my mind started to race. There are several fail-backs and i have tested the release-timer several times, how could that be? And She could still press the 'unlock' button on the web-page...
There was still the mechanical timer that would turn off the whole system, i had set it to four hours. That had been one hour before the sessions, so i would be caught for two more hours...

I quickly realized, that Lady Helena was joking and i had fun to play along. Domina Shelle was not privy to it, though. She told us afterwards, that She had believed that i's be stuck and we laughed together.

Playing with both my Owners is something very special. They make an amazing team and the dynamic between them creates a special atmosphere. I loved it, when they were talking about me like i was just a toy or pet.
They had a lot of fun, too and before i knew, they were already planning the next session for the days after Christmas. Wow, that was going fast, that would be the 3rd session within a month. I love it that they now also schedule sessions by their mood. After all, i'm their property and should fulfill request rather than making them...

Pain is Pleasure

In our last session, Lady Helena had told me that She'd like to use my stroking-machine together with the spanking-machine. Unfortunately, my old system with a central controller was not fast enough to control both at the same time, so i started to redesign everything and equip each device with a dedicated controller.
This also makes it possible to run the stepper-motors at a higher speed. The stroking-machine goes faster and most important, the spanking-machine arms more quickly. With less than 5 seconds to arm to full strength, it doesn't give me much time to recover between strokes.

Last night, Lady Helena put the new system to a test. She had me bend over the spanking-bench and while the stroking-machine was doing it's work, i heard the motor of the spanking-machine running for a few seconds.
Lady Helena instructed me to recite my mantra. With every sentence, i was expecting the cane hitting my bottom, but nothing happened. I finished the mantra, but still nothing.
I was just about to start to recite it again, when the stroke hit me unprepared. Holy s..t, that was a hard one! While i was moaning from pain, i heard the motor again.
With varying breaks, Lady Helena continued to spank my ass, always trying to catch me unprepared.
The uncertainty made me nervous and it became hard to concentrate on my mantra and even less on the sensations of the stroking-machine.
A few strokes later, the endorphins had kicked in and i was starting to enjoy the spanking. I was prepared for the pain on my ass, when a hard stroke landed on my thighs. I screamed, this was the most painful stroke i ever received. Immediately, i could feel the welt start to rise.

I hadn't noticed, that Lady Helena had adjusted the height. I tried to listen more carefully, but i was unable to tell which motor was running. Not knowing, where and how strong to expect the next strokes, made me a little nervous.
More strokes landed on my ass and thighs and i was glad, when my Commander decided, that i had received enough pain. She told me to lay down with the stroking-machine. While i was re-positioning myself, i caught a glimpse of my backside in the mirror. I was rather impressed by the welts and looking quite forward to the pain i would feel the next few days.

Lady Helena began to count down from 20 and with every few numbers, She increased the stroking-speed a bit. Would She let me cum or did She have a wicked surprise in mind.
I was still wondering when She reached one. She told me to cum and thanks to past suggestions from Her and Domina Shelle, i came. I had barely been on the edge, nor had i tried to cum.
The machine was still stroking my cock on high speed. I wasn't tied, but the thought of just removing the sleeve from my cock never crossed my mind. I begged Her to slow down and She granted me the wish. She kept it running for a while, after we chatted, which felt really nice. Sometimes, She ramped up the speed suddenly, enjoying my reactions.

After the session, i was in a special mood and i could tell that Lad Helena was too. We joked and laughed and Lady Helena already started to plan our next session...

Locktober has ended

Locktober ended on Halloween and it was a coincidence that i had a session with Lady Helena just that day. We had planned for the week before, but She had to reschedule.
So, with Domina Shelle's permission, this was the perfect opportunity to test my new stroking-machine for the first time.
Lady Helena seemed to be as eager as i was and went to start without that little chat that we usually have before playing. With me tied spread-eagle on my bed and the machine sucking very slowly on my cock, She started to take me into trance while playing with the controls.
It didn't take Her long before She knew exactly which settings got the desired reaction from me.
Especially setting the up and down stroke to different speeds yielded interesting sensations. A slowly down and fast up was the most frustrating feeling of all. It felt like i was half way to the edge, but never able to get there.
Fast down and slow up strokes. on the other hand, felt like hard fucking. No way to resist this pattern.
And this was exactly the pattern She used to make me cum. Lady Helena had timed everything so perfectly, i came in the very moment She gave the command.

I enjoyed my orgasm for a second, but the machine didn't stop. My whole body was tensed and i wanted the sensations to stop. Should i start to beg?
No, Lady Helena was enjoying Herself to much and in the past i often regretted to beg too early. Between my moans and heavy breathing, i managed a 'i'm so sensitive, it's so intense...', hoping that She would maybe slow down a bit. "I know..." She giggled...
I kept fighting a bit longer, but finally asked Her to stop. She did, at least for a minute or so and then started the machine again on a slow speed. It wasn't uncomfortable, but i wasn't in the mood for further stimulation either. Phrases from my daily mantra started to appear in my thoughts. "i trust my owner...", "She knows what's best...", "She owns my body and mind...". I was enduring this for Her, accepted being Her toy and with that, i started to get aroused again.

The stroking stopped. How did Lady Helena know, that it was just getting fun again? Had She waited for this moment? She released me and our session ended, but She had somehow triggered thoughts that occupied my mind for the rest of the evening.
I thought about the moments when i begged for mercy and afterwards i often regretted it. I realized that i didn't beg because it was getting too much, but just because i didn't like it in that moment.
There have been a few times where i decided against begging and looking back, those were the best sessions, because afterwards the endorphins had kicked in and i felt awesome for the rest of the day.

I wrote Lady Helena an email about my thoughts and we have agreed to interpret begging as "i'm now suffering for You". We have agreed on a safeword instead.
I'm also going to share my calendar with my Owners so they can schedule sessions on short notice as they see fit. It gives them more flexibility with their schedule and i like the thrill of not knowing when we will have a session.

Loc-tober week 3 and a new toy

Week 2 of Loc-tober ended on Thursday and with a chat with Lady Helena. We were planning a virtual shopping tour for Her birthday. I'm not sure whether She had planned it or if one of my comments was a little too cheeky, but suddenly Her tone changed.
She told me to put on nipple-clamps and forbid me to type, unless She asked me something. Then She began to interrogate me. The first questions were easy, but then She asked if i would kneel down in front of Her in public. I hesitated a bit and told Her that i would if nobody around knew me.
I think Lady Helena was amused to have found an area were She can push my limits.
She told me to insert two ice-cubes into my ass-hole. I still can't get used to that, although She has me do it often.
After some more questions, She had me alternate between writing lines and smacking my balls, interrupted by some more ice-cubes going up my ass.
I was glad when the session was over, but i also know, how much Lady Helena enjoys making me do things that i don't like and this knowledge made me happy. I spent the rest of the evening with a smile on my face...

Friday was the first day of week 3. After being allowed some stroking during trance last week, i had somehow expected to be allowed some more. I was wrong, this week is strict chastity again.
Also, since Domina is at the beach, this weeks assignments are coming from Lady Helena. With exercise and diet, it's a bit like a mini-version of Her boot-camp.
On Friday evening with the workweek behind me and my mind free, i suddenly felt very emotional. It was a mix of extreme happiness, unconditional love and the need to serve and please my Owners. I'm so blessed being their slave!

Summer is over and so it's time again to spend the weekends building new toys! I had started this one already in spring, but had put it aside during summer.

Yes, it's a DIY version of the Venus2000. The principle is very simple. A bilge pump is driven by a stepper-motor and the receiver tube is connected to it.
But it wasn't me if there wasn't computers and electronics involved.
This one can be controlled via internet, like all my toys.
Additionally, the speed of the up and down stroke can be adjusted separately and the stroke length can also be changed.

Next, i need to build some kind of harness or holder for the tube and i'm also thinking about programming stroking-patterns...

Unfortunately, i couldn't test it yet, due to Loc-tober, but judging from how it feels on my fingers, it will be great! I'm looking forward to Domina Shelle and Lady Helena giving it a test very soon! Stay tuned...!

Locktober - Week 2

I'm now in the middle of week 2. In the session for this week, Domina Shelle allows me to stroke a bit, but only while listening to that session. Although it's hard to stop afterwards, it helps a bit with the urge.
I'm having a lot of sexy dreams now. Friday night, i dreamed about being at a party and suddenly, Lady Helena was there. She grabbed me by the arm, spun me around and pressed me against the wall. Then She fucked my ass until i almost came.
The next night, Domina Shelle was in my dream. She instructed me to massage Her feet, then She allowed me to kiss them and suck on Her toes. This dream was so vivid, i can still remember, how soft Her toes felt in my mouth.
I was quite surprised when i listened to this weeks session the next day and found Her talking about exactly that scene. I hadn't remembered it from listening the first time, but my subconscious mind had.

Locktober

Wow, it has been really long since i wrote the last blog-entry...
I had been knocked out by a cold for a week and somehow this threw me off track completely. Even after i had recovered and was feeling better, my submissive side was still missing. I had even stopped to listen to the Experiment.
I was feeling incomplete without my kinky side and i finally asked Domina Shelle for advise.
She told me not to worry and that it would come back and instructed me to listen to Web of Sleep. At first, i didn't notice any effect, but the next night, i dreamed about a giant pussy smothering my entire face. My kinky side was coming back..!

Last Friday, Locktober started for Domina Shelles slaves. I knew, that chastity would help a lot to bring back my submissive feelings and so i signed up for the 4 week option.
I was right, within a few days, i was back to my old self. Maybe even more... now, after the first week is almost over, the mental chastity cage feels stronger than ever before. My mind is occupied with thoughts of my beloved Owner again and i wake up from a very sexy dream almost every night.

This episode did demonstrate Dominas skills once again and showed me how important She is for my well-being. What would i do without Her...?

Paralyzed and horny

Two weeks of Domina Shelle's Experiment have passed and listening to the daily session has become a ritual that i'm looking forward every day.
On Friday, i had an amazing experience. While i was waking up from the daily session, my body felt numb and tingly. As i started to realize, that i couldn't move, i got horny. And the more aroused i got, the more i felt paralyzed. Which in turn made me hornier...
I was caught in a viscious circle. I don't know, how long i stayed in this state. It must have been at least 10 minutes during which i almost got to the edge several times. I got so aroused, that my body started to shake and that caused me to open my eyes.
My mind was almost awake now, but my body was still numb. I started to get horny again...
The cycle repeated, but this time, it didn't take long until i started to tremble and that finally woke me up.

I'm pretty sure there was no such suggestion in the recording. Somehow, the combination of the sessions and my fantasies must have created this experience. Whatever it was, it was amazing and i loved every second of it!

The Experiment: being Domina's lab rat

Since one week, i'm part of Domina Shelle's new Experiment. It's a 6 week program designed to deepen my submission and servitude and to increase my Owner's power over my body and mind.
There's a session with a special theme for every day of the week. For a limited time, Domina had offered the option to personalize these files and of course, i had jumped on the opportunity.

While i didn't feel a big difference after waking up from the individual sessions, their combination and the repetition of the personalized background-track throughout the week has a noticeable effect. My Owner is a constant part of my subconscious mind, even more than She had been before. But there's also that little question that comes up whenever i take a decision: "What would my Owner want me to do...?"

I have also been challenged by Lady Helena a bit. Last week, She instructed me to play Her new Wicked Wack Game... the rules are simple. After taking me into trance, She instructed me to stroke for one full hour. If i would cum, stop stroking or go limp, i would loose and have to pay a penalty. But if i could win, She promised a special reward...
I hadn't much of a chance after more than 5 week of complete chastity, but i did my best to hold back as long as i could. 30 minutes had already passed when Lady Helena started to talk about how horny my struggling makes Her. And when She started to moan, i couldn't help it and came with Her...
I had lost and paid my penalty, but to be honest, it was a nice way of loosing.
On Wednesday, Lady Helena told me to play again and after getting confirmation that i'm allowed to during the Experiment, i played on Saturday. This time, i was prepared and tried not to get tricked again. I succeeded to survive the part where i had lost last time, but it didn't get easier from there.
I don't want to spoil anything, so i will only tell although i struggled, i won and i like my reward...

Sissy maid

A week ago, Domina Shelle released a new playground trigger file, Surrender SM. Like always, i didn't know what the new command would be about when i listened, my only clue was, that it was intended for sissies.
I was very excited when i found out, that SM stands for sissy-maid and of course, i was eager to follow the instructions already before the suggestions were over. The commands gives me 72 hours time to comply and so, i planned to dress up and clean on Sunday. I went to the kitchen to get something to drink and before i knew it, i was wiping the counter-top. I hadn't even noticed that i had started to do that... i was wondering why i was doing that, but my body was somehow on auto-pilot and i didn't stop until the kitchen was clean.

A similar thing happened yesterday. I was still at work when i received an email from my Owner. The email ended with 'Surrender SM' and i had the urge to clean immediately. It was so strong, that i was even getting ready to leave work earlier and do the remaining hours the next day, but i got held up last minute...
When i was finally home, i found my flat quite warm and my lazy self took over. Sitting outside with some ice-cream sounded much better than cleaning. Guess what happened when i entered the kitchen...
I found myself wanting to clean again and since the kitchen was still tidy, i focused on the details and went on with the bathroom after that. I just needed to obey and please my Owner.

I love this new trigger! In Her Re-Form School series, Domina had given out the assignment to identify areas where i need more training and management and i had of course named maid-training as one of the areas. She had answered me that She would come up with something, but i hadn't expected that it would be such a simple, yet very powerful trigger.

Cock shocked

My shock-collar has been collecting dust in a drawer, which i wasn't really unhappy about. So far, Lady Helena had only used it on my thigh so far and while it wasn't very painful, the feeling still sucked. Lady Helena always had a lot of fun with it, though and that made it also fun for me.
A while ago, i had tried the collar around my cock and balls. It didn't do much with the contacts below my balls, but on top of my cock, it felt like hot needles digging into my flesh. It scared me and i never told Lady Helena about it... until 3 weeks ago...
Being horny had caused me to fantasize about harder torture and finally made me confess and it was no surprise, that my Commander couldn't wait to try it.
We had planned the session for last week already, but had to reschedule last minute. I was not too unhappy about being off the hook, but that also meant a week more to get nervous.
Last night, the time had finally come. When Lady Helena activated the magnets to lock my hands to the headboard and i was laying on the bed spread-eagle and helpless, my nervousness turned into fear and i began to tremble.
She took me into trance and started to reinforce the triggers from Her recording Pleasure Shock, but this time supported by the shock-collar. She turned up the power way more than i had dared myself, almost to maximum like She told me later.
She also placed a post-hypnotic suggestion into my brain... i will experience a ten times stronger shock should i ever try to cum without permission. I don't think i will test that any time soon...

After waking me up, Lady Helena informed me that this is Her new favorite toy... She now has something that i really fear and want to avoid, but i have a feeling that this will become a regular part of my training...

An unexpected outcum

It had been quite a while since i had an opportunity to have a session with my Owner and so, i was looking forward to it even more than usual. No wonder, since this is currently the only chance for me to get some pleasure.
After a bit of chatting, i got into position on the bed. I had already tied my feet to the corners and connected the e-stim device, so Domina Shelle could start to play right away after activating the magnets to secure my hands to the headboard.
And that is what She did. She didn't waste much time to tease me, but ramped the signal up quickly until i was getting close. Last time, She had turned the signal down quickly whenever i got to the edge, but not this time. I had to hold back while She reduced the power slowly.
I lost track what happened next. Sometimes, She edged me quickly, other times She ramped the power up more slowly, sometimes leaving it on a nice medium level, only to turn it off when i started to enjoy the feeling.
After 30 minutes, i was exhausted. I didn't know whether i wanted to stop or keep getting teased and edged. My whole body was tingling and my head spinning. Domina slowed down the teasing a bit and edged me a few more times until finally, She told me to let go and cum.
I hadn't expected that, but was very happy to get permission. It didn't take long until i was on the edge again, almost expecting to be denied last seconds, but my wonderful Owner kept going until i came.
Like alwas, my cock got so sensitive, that i begged Her to turn down the signal, but unlike last time, She didn't turn it off. Instead, She only turned it down a bit. First i thought, that i wouldn't be able to stand it, but a few seconds later, it proofed  to be the perfect intensity.
I kept cumming and the only thing i was able to do was to breath quickly and heavily. I had enough pleasure, but i was panting so heavily, that i was unable to beg Her to stop. It took a while until i was able to. She had mercy with me and our session ended.

That is almost an hour ago and i still feel like i'm high... i need to listen to Her voice now...

10 days...

It's my 10th day in complete chastity lockdown and i'm loving it! The first days were a bit difficult, because i was missing the stroking, but i got used to it very quickly.
The nights are different, though. Almost every night, i'm having very vivid dreams of bondage, foot-fetish, facesitting, teasing... all the things that make me horny... and every time the dream ends with furious wanking. At that point, i always wake up, because i know, that i mustn't stroke, only to find myself in my bed, still in mental chastity...
This has been very frustrating and a mindfuck by itself, but it also showed me, how powerful my Owner's suggestions are.
I don't think the remaining 16 days of Chastity Lockdown will be a big challenge, but it's only the beginning. Domina Shelle will not unlock me before i'm seriously begging for mercy...

Drained and locked

My chastity hadn't been very strict lately and especially after Domina's latest file Shiko Shiko Manzuri (which is a sissy-version of Forever Slave) drained me completely, i was not feeling as submissive as i used to. One could say, i had chastity-withdrawal symptoms...
I had begged Her for a period of very strict chastity to get myself into the right mindset again and to start with, She instructed me to do the four-week Chastity Lockdown again.
I will not be allowed to touch at all, unless one of my Owners gives me permission during a skype-call and i don't know what will happen after the 4 weeks. Will the lockdown continue and how strict will my Owners be with me?
The uncertainty adds a very exciting element and i'm feeling a bit different after the first day already. It's like my mind was incomplete and now it's getting repaired...

A very sore bottom

Last night, i had the first session with Lady Helena using my upgraded spanking-machine. We had had to reschedule it from last week, so we were both really excited to finally put it in use.

I have never been so nervous before a session, because i knew that with the redesigned spanking-bench, i would be very helpless.
While we were talking about this and that, i got into position and strapped my legs to the posts.
The bench has an electromagnet at the front and i had connected a pair of fist-mitts to the ring on the strike-plate. I can close the mitts with my teeth, but when they are locked to the magnet, the raised board prevents me from reaching them with my mouth.
I had also tied a dildo to that board like Lady Helena had instructed. It was in the perfect position for me to suck it.

CLICK... a rush went through my body when Lady Helena locked my hands in place. I tested my bounds a bit, but i was unable to move much, i was now totally at my Commander's mercy!

I heared a motor, but i was unable to tell if the spanking-machine was getting armed or going up or down. We continued to talk and suddenly the first stroke hit me on my ass. I hadn't heared the swish of the cane and screamed from surprise.
Lady Helena laughed, She loves to cane me when i'm distracted.
I heared the motor twice and knew that i would now experience the first stroke on my thighs, but i didn't know to which height the machine was set now.
A moment later i felt the pain explode on the mid of my thighs and i could immediately feel a welt rise. My scream earned me a mocking remark from Lady Helena about how sensitive my thighs are. I could hear from Her voice, how much She was enjoying Herself already. Had i bitten off more than i could chew? For a moment, i considered to beg Her to go a bit easier on my thighs, but She was enjoying Herself so much, so i decided to clench my teeth and suffer for Her.

Now the session started. Lady Helena told me to imagine Her sitting on Her throne with Her strap-on. She told me to lick the dildo, kiss it, suck it... with Her voice in my ears and me concentrating on Her words and on worshiping the dildo, i didn't hear the sound of the motor most of the times. I soon lost any clue were the cane would hit me next. Lady Helena is excellent in finding just the right moment when i'm distracted and surprise me with the next stroke.

My jaws started to ache after a while of sucking the dildo and i was very relieved when my Commander allowed me a rest while i was reciting my mantra. Of course there was no rest for my ass... Lady Helena stayed quiet and listened to my mantra and so, i was able to hear the motor. She later told me, that She could Her the fear in my voice every time.

She alternated between having me mantra and sucking the dildo. I was surprise how much having my mouth stuffed helped me process the pain.
About half way through our session, the endorphins started to kick in. The pain faded to the background and each stroke started a firework in my head. I was feeling good and hearing my Commander enjoy Herself so much made me proud and ready to go on as long as She would decide.

All good things come to an end and so did our session. But Lady Helena wouldn't be Her if She had just let me go. My headset had slipped off twice early in the session and She had to release my hands to readjust it and now i was staying locked in position for a while as a punishment. She instructed me to keep sucking the dildo and hung up.
I was so high on endorphins that i went on as if our session was still running. I had no clue how much time had passed, when i suddenly heared the spanking-machine. The following seconds were the scariest of all. No clue when or were i would be hit and how hard it would be. Would She continue to spank me without me having a way to communicate?
The stroke landed in the middle of my cheeks, then i heared a click and my hands were free. I removed the fist-mitts and felt my ass and thighs. Wow! One welt next to the other, i needed to see that in the mirror. I quickly got up from my kneeling postition... at least i tried to... i had not expected how sore my behind was. Every movement hurt and i could barely lift my leg to get into my panties. For a moment i was a bit shocked, but then i began to like it.

Today, the welts have transformed into lovely red stripes and the pain has subsided to a very enjoyable level. I still feel it whenever i sit down, but it doesn't hinder me much in my daily activities. I even regret, that my other thigh didn't get hit as much, i think i need to position myself better next time...

Sissygasm

Now that Domina Shelle has released one of the files She gifted me for our anniversary, i want to tell you about my experiences with it.
The file is called Sissygasm - Hypnoclitty. I don't remember the induction, which is a clue how effective it was, first thing i can remember is that i paused the session to get prepared. I dressed up, pushed a butt-plug in and went back to listening. Although this distracted me a bit, i fell back into trance very quickly. But next time i will be prepared from the start.
Domina instructed me to arouse myself, stimulate my nipples and i was quickly getting very horny. Then She finally allowed me to slide my hands into my panties and rub. No stroking, just rubbing. I first rubber at the base of my cock, but soon my hand slid down further until i was rubbing the spot between my balls and my sissy hole. It felt amazing.
When She allowed me to cum, it started as a mental orgasm like i had experienced before, but as i increased the pressure on the spot behind my balls, my cum suddenly started to ooze out.
I was totally surprised, i hadn't expected that. It felt a little strange, since the cum was flowing out without my muscles contracting. I was experiencing something like the other half of a ruined orgasm, which left me even hornier than before...

3 years as a slave

Sunday was my 3 year anniversary as Domina Shelle's contracted slave. I'm very grateful for being trained by Her. She does not only train me to be a useful slave for Her, i have also become a happier and more successful person in my vanilla life.
Of course i sent Her presents and in return, i had the honor to preview two of Her sessions that will be released soon. I will not reveal any details before they get released, only so much: i want to listen again and again...

Another update is about my spanking-machine. In my last session with Lady Helena, it didn't work correctly which earned me an extra punishment and the task to fix it. Needless to say, that i was very motivated to get it right...
I first upgraded the motor-driver circuit. It's now twice as fast (only 10 seconds between strokes) and a lot less noisy. I also fixed a bug in the software that had reduced the acceleration of the cane.
A quick test at low to medium levels proofed that the strokes are harder now. I had to stop after about 30 strokes, because my skin had started to break and i didn't want to be too sore. I still had marks for almost a week... the better the machine is getting, the more it becomes a problem, that the strokes always land in the same area. I can move my ass a bit for variation, but not much and i also can't tie myself as securely as i would like.
After a bit of searching, i found a motorcycle-lift that was exactly the right size to mount the spanking-machine onto. Coupling the crank to a motor was easy and after modifying the software a bit, it's now online controllable.
The machine can now be positioned to hit from my ass-cheeks down to the middle of my thighs and with the modifications i have done to the spanking-bench, i will be unable to move away.
I can't wait to test it with Lady Helena, although i'm a bit afraid of my thigh getting caned...

Suffering for Her entertainment

I'm sure everybody knows the need to vent of a bit after a shitty day. Well, it was not me, who had a shitty day, but Lady Helena. So it was convenient for Her that we had planned a call on Friday and right after we had said hello, She informed me, that i was going to suffer to cheer Her up.
Of course i loved to have the opportunity to make Her feel better, But i also got a bit nervous.

To start with, Lady Helena told me to insert 3 ice-cubes into my ass. I hate the feeling, but it amuses my Commander to hear me whimper. Next was a pair of nipple-clamps before i got in position in front of the spanking-machine. I blindfolded myself and started to say my mantra in my mind while waiting for the things to come.
Lady Helena put on some music and while She was listening and sometimes singing along, She started to spank me. Unlike other times, She did not gradually ramp up the strength, but randomized it. A couple of times, She told me, that an extra hard stroke would be coming. I braced myself, expecting a burst of pain, but some of the times, She just delivered a light stroke. In the moment of the impact, i screamed, because i had anticipated pain, but a fraction of a second later, my scream turned into a relieved giggle. She was playing with my mind and i was getting confused...

Half way through the session, Lady Helena allowed me to stroke my sissy-clitty. It was difficult to get hard while concentrating on the mantra and receiving the spanking and my Commander increased the strength even more.
Unfortunately, my spanking-machine didn't work reliably at levels above 85%. Lady Helena was pissed and sent me to the kitchen to get more ice-cubes. She told me that i must fix it for the next time.
With 3 more ice-cubes up my ass, we continued. It felt like the ice-cubes were pressing on my prostate. Combined with the cold, it was a very strange feeling and when i was instructed to edge, it was difficult. Lady Helena stopped spanking me and i knew what was coming. The moment i informed Her that i was getting close, She delivered a hard stroke. She let me edge 3 times before our session ended.

While we were saying goodbye, i could tell, that Her mood was way better than at the beginning and She told me, that i had enlightened Her day. Hearing that was the best about the whole session. The pain-play was a lot of fun, but being able to entertain my Commander is the best feeling of all.

After the call, i checked my ass-cheeks in the mirror. I had some thick welts and in a few spots, my skin was starting to break. I wonder how it would have looked like with the spanking-machine fully working. I will find out sooner or later...

Chastity assignment completed

Day 5 and 6 were similar to the days before. I had only two stroking slots with 400 allowed strokes per day. Since the first one was during work-time, i could only use the second slot.
On day 7, the last day, i had permission to stroke as much as i liked. I had been looking forward to it a lot, it has been a long time since i had an opportunity to stroke freely.
But there was a catch, of course. I had to edge at least every two hours and hold it for a minute...
It was fun at first, but soon it became difficult. I didn't feel very horny and more and getting to the edge became more difficult.
For the end of this assignment, i was allowed to decide to cum or stay chaste and restart the week. I do want to cum, but after all this training, it feels wrong to cum on my own. It would just be too much control given to me. Instead i have begged my Owner to be allowed to wait until our next call. Then She can use the estim-device while i'm tied up and it's completely Her decision...

Day 4: Mind climax

Day 4 of the chastity assignment contained one of my least favorite instructions, spending the day without underwear. I hate leaving home without, i feel so insecure and vulnerable and i always think that everyone knows.
But i also had enjoyable instructions. I was allowed a 2nd cup of coffee and Domina had assigned me 4 time-slots during which i was allowed 200 strokes. Unfortunately, 3 of them were during work-hours and i could only find time for one of those. I don't like stroke in a public restroom and counting the strokes didn't let me focus on the pleasure, so it was more an act of obedience than something fun. I was looking forward for the 4th time at home...

In the evening, i listened to both required sessions back to back. First to 'Brain Fried', which is my favorite chastity recording, then to 'Chastity Lesson 3'. In this one, Domina brought me so close to the edge with only Her words, that i experienced a mental orgasm each time She said 'Climax'. It was a total rush and left me even more horny...
Unfortunately, i hadn't watched the time and missed the last slot for stroking, but i didn't miss it...

Days 2 and 3

Day 2:
Today was not very different from yesterday, but it was hard at work without coffee... i felt tired when i returned home. I listened to Chastity Lesson 1 after dinner, looking forward to be allowed to stroke, but i kept falling so deep, that i forgot to move my hand. After waking up, i felt refreshed and a bit less tired.
I listened to Idee Fixe in bed. I didn't remember what it was about and was hoping for some stroking instructions, but instead it left me very horny and it took me a while before i was able to sleep. I had strange dreams during the night, something about not being in control, but i can't recall details.

Day 3:
The day went similar to day 2. I had enough distraction, so the chastity didn't bother me much. i'm trying to trick myself with hot fruit-tea, at least it gives me the feeling of a cup of hot coffee in my hands...
I listened to Wicked Acceptance early in the evening. It's one of the few sessions I didn't know already. I can't really tell what happened during the trance, i just felt very quiet and cozy, but as soon as i heard the word 'chastity' towards the end, it all washed over me. Hard to describe...
I had reserved Chastity Lesson 2 for bedtime. Although i know the series, i didn't remember that it includes the permission to stay on the edge as long as i liked afterwards. I had planned to turn around and sleep after the session, but of course i enjoyed the edging. I don't know how long i edged until i finally stopped and fell asleep.

New chastity assignment: Day 1

Domina Shelle had hinted, that there would be some strict chastity coming and so i was looking forward to the new session a lot. I had it in my email on Saturday morning, but unfortunately, i had to wait until the afternoon before i could listen.
The new session is part of Domina's Reform-School series and the induction followed the scheme, that i was already used to from the other lessons, so it felt familiar from the beginning and let me fall deep. I didn't remember many details when i woke up, but i knew, that i would subconsciously follow the instructions and there was also an assignment for the next 7 days. Since it was already late in the afternoon, i decided to start the next day.

Day 1:
I started the day with the special mantra for this assignment and additionally i had to wear nipple-clamps while doing it. This woke me up a bit quicker than usually. I took a shower and got comfy with a cup of coffee. This would be the only one for today, since Domina is restricting me to one cup per day again. This is a bigger sacrifice for me than staying chaste and it started to affect me as soon as i had finished that cup of coffee.
There are also a couple of sessions to listen to each day. Some of them are required, others are optional. Since the instructions gave me permission to follow stroke commands in the sessions, I listened to the required ones (Chastity Lesson 1 and Living on the edge) back to back in the afternoon. I had forgotten the incredible urge to edge, that 'Living on the edge' creates after listening and it took me a bit by surprise. I wanted to stroke badly already while Domina woke me up and i could barely wait. Even if i had wanted to, there would have be no chance to resist.
The post-hypnotic suggestions of 'Living on the edge' required me to edge 3 times in a row and i thought, that it would be quick and easy, but somehow i continued to doze off, while i was stroking. Was this due to some suggestion or just the lack of caffeine? I finally managed to stay awake long enough to do the required edges and to my surprise, it was easy to stop.
For the rest of the day, i had an urge to touch every now and then, but the first day went by without being too difficult...

Hard caning

I had a very memorable session with Lady Helena yesterday...
I started to set up everything 30 minutes before the appointed time. I didn't know what She had planned, i only knew, that the spanking-machine would come to use. Like always, i was getting nervous while i was waiting. I was tired and not really in the mood for a spanking. I began to mantra and that helped me to prepare mentally.
5 minutes before the time, i received an email. Lady Helena was running late and asked to delay our session by one hour. No problem, but it didn't help with my nervousness.

An hour later, i saw Lady Helena coming online in Skype. Some final instructions for me to follow and a few minutes later, She was calling. Like always, hearing Her voice let me relax immediately and i was wondering why i had been nervous.
After a bit of small-talk, She instructed me to get on all fours in front of the spanking-machine. She armed it, judging from the duration the motor was running, She had set it to a rather high level, maybe i had been right to be nervous...

Lady Helena told me, that She would be using me as a guinea-pig for Her upcoming session. Wow, what an honor, i loved that! She started to take me down into a trance and to tell a story. I don't want to spoil anything, so i won't go into details, but i loved the story!
Soon i had forgotten about the cane that was behind me, ready to strike and the story didn't let me expect it either. Then it suddenly took a twist.
Swish!!! Before i realized what was happening, the cane had landed across both ass-cheeks and it hit me hard. Without a warm-up, this was on the brink of my pain threshold and there was no pleasure in my moans. She hit me a couple more times and i think She even increased the strength. How long would i be able to stand this without begging for mercy? I didn't want to disappoint Lady Helena, She was having so much fun...
"This probably woke you up a bit..."
A bit? What an understatement... Lady Helena ended the trance and we continued the small-talk. Was it over so soon? I wasn't sure if i wanted more or not...
"You said, you have vacations next week and don't have to sit. So i can spank you as much as i want, right?"
Yes, i had said that and i was regretting it a bit, but i was slowly getting into the mood for more pain and i certainly didn't want to spoil my Commander's fun.
She continued to spank me randomly while we were talking. I was now getting into the mood, too and the pain became pleasure. Lady Helena increased the strength whenever my moans got quieter, She managed to keep me in a perfect balance between pleasure and pain.
Then it was over. I didn't keep count, maybe it was 30 strokes, maybe more. I checked my ass in the mirror. Oh wow! My ass cheeks were one big fat welt that was already getting blue in some spots. In other areas my skin had turned white and was about to break.

Our session had come to an end. I thanked Lady Helena and of course took a photo and sent it to Her, so She could see Her handiwork. I love it that i can still feel my ass today. Not as much as i had expected, but enough to be a constant reminder of Lady Helena and the fun we had together...

Tied down and forced to cum

The last few days have been an interesting experience. I had a short call with Domina on Friday to plan our next session and during that, She gave me Her newest file. I loved to have it as one of the first and of course, i listened as soon as we had finished speaking.
Dark Room - Oblivion is a little confusing and while i notice it's effect, it's hard to describe. But i will try... Domina's voice has already become a constant companion in the back of my mind. Whatever i think or do, a little part of my mind is thinking of Her. Now, with the conditioning from the new file, She's invading my memories. It started subtle after the first listening. Whenever i recalled a sexy memory, the voice in the back of my head came forward and with every time i listen to the file, the effect becomes stronger. Eventually, She will become a part of all my sexy memories...

Yesterday, we had a very fun session. I was laying on my back, pinned down to the bed with medical restraints. The cuffs around my ankles, thighs, waist and chest didn't leave me much room to struggle. My electro-stimulation device was set up with electrodes on the head and base of my cock and the common pole on a butt-plug. It was connected to the remote-box, ready to be controlled by my Owner.
I reached up to the headboard and held the metal plates that were attached to my wrist-cuffs against the electromagnets that were mounted there. "i'm ready, Domina!"
She teased me a bit that She would lock me now and that i would be there for a while, before She pressed the button. Click! I was now completely at Her mercy, the only escape being a pair of scissors, so i would be able to cut the restraints (which would be costly to replace) in case of an emergency.
Domina Shelle started to take me into a light trance and while She was counting me down, i felt light tingles on my cock. Was She already using the estim-device or was it just my arousal? She finished the induction and started to really tease me. Wow! I had not expected Her to ramp it up so quickly. She increased the power level until it was becoming almost painful, then She turned it down as quickly. After a few cycles and playing with the settings a bit, She knew exactly how to get me moaning and Her reactions told me, that She was having a lot of fun teasing me. Oh, how i loved to be Her entertainment!
She began to tell a fantasy where i was the attraction at Her party. Being bent over a bench and tied down, i was fucked from both ends by Her and Her guests. I was getting even hornier and She started to edge me. Again and again and again, each time getting me a little closer. Initially, i had tried to hold back, but soon, i was just putty in Her hands and let it happened.
She alternated the edging with periods of frustratingly light stimulation, letting me cool down a bit and making me desperate for more. I don't know how often She edged me before She finally didn't turn the stimulation off and told me to cum. The power was on a high level at that point and i knew that it would feel 10 times more intense once i'd start to cum. Whenever i had been using the estim-device on my own, i had turned it down at this moment, because i was unable to stand that amount of stimulation. But what would Domina do? Any resistance would have been futile, so i didn't try to hold back. I started to cum and immediately i found myself begging for Her to turn it down. The stimulation prevented me to relax my muscles and thus, i was unable to ejaculate.
After keeping me begging for a couple of seconds (i think... it felt way longer), She finally turned the signal off and my cum started to dibble out. It was like the opposite of a ruined orgasm, cumming without spurting... an interesting new experience...
I was spent after this session, my muscles felt a little sore, i even had a headache for a minute from cumming so hard, but i loved it. Domina had fun, too. She wants to do that again very soon... i can't wait...

The suggestions are working

I was allowed two edges yesterday and i was looking forward to them for the whole day. I started very slowly to be able to enjoy it longer, but after a while i couldn't resist any more and edged for the first time.
I paused for a minute to cool down a bit. Then i started again and this time it was even more difficult not to edge too quickly. When i finally did, i stopped automatically and the urge to stroke was like blown away. I hadn't expected that the suggestions would be working this good!
I stayed in this state for the rest of the day. I was still horny, but the option to stroke seemed to be non-existing.
Today is again a day without touching and even worse, i'm only allowed two cups of coffee. I think i had told Domina how difficult this was for me during Lady Helena's boot-camp and now She's using this too...

New chastity assignment

Domina Shelle has been quite generous lately when it came to allowing Her slaves pleasure, but now She's going to tighten Her leash again, as it seems.
Since Friday, i'm doing a chastity assignment that came with Her new playground trigger Surrender BB. I was craving more chastity and looking forward to it, but somehow it is much more difficult this time. The assignment mixes small amounts of pleasure like only 100 strokes or one edge per day with days of no touching at all. This keeps me in a state of aroused anticipation, never giving me enough pleasure to ease the urge a bit.

Feet and Chocolate

The last days have been filled with one of my biggest fetishes, feet and shoes... it had started two weeks ago with Domina's session Lab Rat 2, which had triggered me to kiss any pair of unworn shoes for the next days. So whenever i was home alone and saw a pair of unoccupied shoes, i had the strong urge to get on my knees and kiss them. Even if i already had a shoe fetish, kissing my own non-kinky shoes that i had worn outside felt a bit strange. I the end, i started to put my shoes away properly and had a pair of high-heels ready instead. Not the worst side-effect... giggles...



Then, a week ago, Lady Helena commanded me to listen to Her new file Sleeper Agent. It has strong amnesia suggestions and my memories are fading, but i remember, that She woke me up quickly and then put me back into trance as fast several times. Each time i felt disoriented and was unsure, what had happened. She also implanted a new trigger that will work spoken or written. I know that it will cause me to obey, but again, the details are getting very fuzzy over time.

Last weekend, Domina released a new picture-pack with photos of Her feet. It came with a 7 day assignment of worshiping shoes while wearing nipple-clamps and a butt-plug. I love the assignment and when i received an email from Lady Helena yesterday, where She used the new trigger, the combined conditioning caused me to think of licking chocolate from my Owners' feet the whole day. It inspired me to draw the picture above for Lady Helena. She loves it and has used it to promote Her recording. I'm so proud!

Lab Rat 2

It has been a while since my last update, so let me try to recap what has happened...

My session with Lady Helena happened a few days before Christmas. The spanking i received was different to the times before. She had me kneel in front of the spanking-machine, but instead of putting me into trance or having me recite my mantra, we just started to talk a bit. Every now and then, when i was not expecting it, She triggered the machine and each time, i moaned, more from the surprise than from pain. I could hear how much this amused my Commander, which made me excited and happy.
After a while, She allowed me to stroke while saying my mantra. She still kept spanking me at random times and i had a hard time getting to the edge with all the distractions. I finally managed and i was pleasantly surprised when i was allowed to cum!

I have used the quiet days around Christmas to start with digital drawing. The first results were mediocre, but i improved quickly and Domina allowed me to make a drawing for Her that She used on Twitter and i even did a first commissioned work. I used the money to buy something for my Owners and i will do so with all future earnings...
This is the drawing i made for Domina Shelle, you can see more on deviantart






Last weekend, Domina Shelle released Her latest recording, Neuro Lab Rat - Phase 2. I didn't recall what had happened in phase 1, but i have the impression, that the triggers still worked perfectly.
During the induction, Domina told me to stare at a spot on the wall and try to keep my eyes open. I fought hard and concentrated on no closing my eyes, but soon i started to blink more frequently and not much later, my eyelids started to close. I kept fighting, opening them again, but each time it got more difficult. I knew from the beginning that i'd have no chance, but i tried to resist for real. When my eyes finally closed and i fell into a deep trance, i had no doubt, that i was now completely at my Owner's mercy.
For the rest of the session, Domina Shelle manipulated my neural switches. She turned my thoughts, my memories and my resistance off and my obedience, submission and arousal on. I'm not sure if i understand all the effects of this session, most likely there are effects that i will discover later, but for the next seven days, i have a post-hypnotic suggestion, that i love! I'm not going to spoil the surprise, find out yourself...